Bereavement & Grief Support
Grief is an emotional reaction we feel when we experience a loss. Although we tend to associate grief with the death of someone close to us, there are other losses that happen in life as well. Losing a job, divorcing, moving, and debilitating illness are just some of these.
One of the most universal experiences in life is death, and with that death the grief that accompanies it. It is important to realize that grief is normal because society today has a tendency to deny death and grief and to look upon the emotional expression of grief as a weakness or inappropriate behaviour. Grief feelings are valid and express the sorrow we are experiencing. They are neither wrong, nor good or bad. They just are and therefore should not be judged by ourselves or others.
The grieving process is something that we must do on our own, although we do not have to do it alone or unsupported. It is by working through our loss that we can finally come to a state of balance, peace and acceptance. If we try to deny or suppress our grief it often comes back in the future in some other form that affects our health and functioning ability.
A support group is a safe environment in which to express your feelings and find understanding and regard for those feelings. Often, grievers find that friends and family members do not understand, nor support the natural grieving process. The Prince George Hospice Society has grief and loss support groups, facilitated by trained volunteers. Their meetings assist people to heal and work through the grief process with assistance , understanding and respect.
The grief process cannot be rushed. It has to take its natural course for emotions to heal gradually. Time does not heal in itself but time allows for the work to be done towards healing. The immediate impact of one’s loss usually lasts up to several weeks. The gradual acceptance and adjustment to the loss may take a few years. In reality we grieve our whole life (we are all grievers), and never really stop loving the person and remembering them.
In the first couple of years the birthdays, anniversaries and seasonal events are the most difficult times. Actually, it is the coping with the repetition of these events over several years that helps us to eventually reach acceptance. When someone we love dies we hold them as a part of ourselves forever. Depending on the role they had in our life, we still feel their impact, as part of who we are or as part of our experience. Our relationship with them has changed obviously, but we hold them with us in our memories. If the memories are good, then this is peaceful.
Children have a need and a right to grieve as well. They experience the similar stages that adults do, so it is important that they be allowed to express their sorrow and have their questions answered.
The Society has a support group for children. Rainbows is an international, non-profit organization that offers help for children that are grieving a death, divorce or any other painful transition in their family. We also have handouts and reading material for parents on the topic of children’s grief
and can provide individual counseling. As well, St. Mary’s Catholic School has a Rainbow’s program for children’s grief.
Often overlooked is that children whose parents are divorcing are grieving huge losses. Support groups are helpful in this situation as well.
A valuable source of information about grief and loss is the BC Bereavement Foundation. Their website can be found at
http://www.bcbereavementhelpline.com/